Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Thanksgiving with kids

For the past 7 years, spending the holidays with joy and relaxation seemed extinct. When my oldest son was born, he’s first Thanksgiving was spent trying to soothe, feed and diaper change him. He was 3 months old and wanted nothing to do with large groups of people.Since then our holidays have been stressful with everything from preparing to leave our house to making sure our kids weren’t destroying someone else’s house. 

Let’s be honest, holidays with children are hard. I fool myself every year. I tell myself how nice it will be to hang with family and eat good food. Reality is… I’m chasing kids and eating cold food.
This year was going to be different though. I wasn’t fooling myself. This year would be nice. My kids are all at a decent age (15, 7, 4, 2). They can entertain themselves and they play nicely together (uh, usually). The most I’d have to do is get their plates ready. I was pumped. I was ready.  I was going to enjoy adult conversations, browse the “Black Friday” ads and eat a warm meal with (not after) everyone else. 

And guess what... it happened. I had a painless Thanksgiving. My kids were awesome! I was able to do all the stuff I wanted. I had a really nice time. 

Later that night when I reflected back, I found myself a little sad. I had a painless Thanksgiving. What the hell was I sad about?!? I was feeling down because my kids are growing older, they don’t need me as much. My mind quickly fast-forwarded and soon enough I had them all graduated, married and starting their own families. 

It’s a heartbreaking thought. I don’t want to change diapers forever, but I am having a hard time letting go of the baby stage. I think as a mother most of us have a hard time with this. Motherhood has wired us to be this way. We want to be needed by our children.

As my kids grow I will adjust and love whatever stage of life we go through. But I sure will miss chubby little cheeks snuggling into me and the sound of little giggles echoing through my house on a daily basis. 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Happy BFF Anniversary, Cara!!!

I know this girl. To some people she is a daughter to others she is a mom. To me she is a best friend.

Cara and I have been best friends longer than we haven’t. I started counting the years, but I ran out of fingers and toes. I’d say it’s somewhere around forever. We’ve known each other since kindergarten, but didn’t become close until junior high. 

In high school we were goofballs together. Fun goofballs I assure you. We stayed out too late, dated older boys, pretty much behaved like a lot of teenage girls. I was a little jealous of Cara back then. She was/still is pretty (always had awesome hair), smart and outgoing. I was quiet and felt like a wallflower. I’m sure I wondered why she wanted to hang out with me. 

Even after we graduated and she moved away, we stayed in contact. This was before emails, Facebook and texting. We did something called “talking on the phone”.  I’m so happy to say that even after all these years we still call each other best friends. 

Earlier this year, Cara suggested us having a BFF anniversary. I agreed and we set a date. The date is November 13. Today. We choose 13 because that is what we estimate our ages to be when we started down the BFF path. I’ve taken many paths in my life. Some good. Some bad. This path is definitely one I’d choose over and over. 

Cara is a great person. I couldn’t have made up a better person to be my BFF. She is compassionate and thoughtful. She is an awesome listener with a great sense of humor. She likes to have a good time, but doesn’t get carried away. She gently pushes me when she knows I need it. 

My world is a better place because of you, Cara. I hope we get the chance to grow very old with one another. Our future together is bright. Together we can do great things.

Cara, my dearest, oldest friend… thank you for choosing me to be your bestie!